Sunday, October 6

Jordan Peterson experiences ego death in the cat food section of Walmart

Peterson was so caught up in what a good cat food might look like that he went looking for more and more. What finally made him stop was Walmart.

For something that was going to make a difference in his life, Peterson’s new experience didn’t feel like a cheap fix. He wanted food he couldn’t buy.

It all started when he tried to find the price tag on a can of spaghetti for cats. In an emotional moment Mr. Peterson became obsessed with “being loved”. When he learned that he was not beloved he started to feel guilty.

“He was my brother, he is mine, he is my god” Peterson proclaimed.

“This store is like, this is the place I want to take care of my cat.” he said with a sniff, pointing across the store he’s been using for the past decade and a half. “The employees are like, ‘oh my gosh,'” he added, “but you’re not going to give me a dollar a day. I have to get me something.”

Peterson, who does not live in Brooklyn, bought two cans of cat food, all for less than $2